8 Simple Steps Toward Reducing Carbon Footprints 
for California car commuters
Chad Lietz

     

1) Enter yr garage.
     a) If you open any door, shut it.
2) Start any vehicle/s housed therein.
3) Stand beside running vehicle/s.
4) Proclaim "I renounce my carbon foot!" in duration of single full breath.
5) Inhale & repeat proclamation, louder than last.
6) Beat surfaces near you (e.g., car, chest, wall, face), as proclamations grow louder.
     a) If non-aggression better suits, whirl a dervish.
7) Shriek. Beat. Breathe. Repeat.

Program ends upon emancipation. Individual results may vary.

 

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